I don't know why I'm feeling depressed - again. I messaged Dominique on MSN but apparently Dom went offline on me.. I've no idea why things are turning out this way.

It's always me. I don't care for you enough, not sensitive enough, not polite enough, never spend enough time with you, etc. Yes, all and all its my fault. Whatever I do is not enough. I've studies and trainings to manage and I've tried my very best to make time for you but I guess it's just not enough. After all these while, after all the things I've done for you, after all the explanations, you still chose to think that my life don't make a difference without you. I feel extremely helpless now.

Apparently, my sister likes going against me. She critises whatever I do or say without fail. All of it hurts me but I chose to pretend not to hear it and put up a strong facade. But am I not worthy of her respect? I'm still 2 years older, right?

Everything is just not going right for me. Relationship, trainings, family, lab(screw that lab technician). I should just kill myself one day. My existence in this world is redundant.